It seems that every day we wake up to a quickening, more complicated world. We have often little time or focus to delve into, let alone integrate, the avalanche of information coming from a diversity of sources. Minutes, days, weeks, years of time evaporate without notice. We become numb. It is in our faces. It is in the words we use and our accompanying tones. It is in our action or more likely, inaction. We burn out. We have all been there, maybe are there still. What is unnatural is to surrender to burnout as if the condition is terminal rather than transitory. There is a way out and it must start from within. Consider where our time and our mental energy are expended. Examine our thoughts, our beliefs, our self-talk, and the culminating behaviors that arise from our mental model – then shift to a stance of self-agency. When we firmly stand on new ground, we are positioned to identify and resolve what is externally working to wear us down.
A generation ago, “a burnout” was someone who had succumbed to hard living via substances and other self-abuse. We have come to see burnout as something being done to us: by society, by work, by friends and families, through acquisition, via consumption by and of us. If we are even aware that we have stepped on this accelerating merry-go-round, we are not clear about whether we can or should exit. Yet, if we are taking the vantage of a rider rather than an operator, then possibly the traditional definition of being a burnout is not off base. At the end, it is up to us to break the cycle. It’s not that our burnout is not real or that it is not insignificant. It is that by initially and regularly turning inward to self, that we are better positioned to identify and sustainably mitigate the internal and external factors reinforcing our condition.
Clear cut quick wins start within the physical domain of our lives. Are we getting the sleep we need? Do we take in what is healthful in terms of types and amounts of food and drink? Do we exercise? Is our caffeine use mindlessly undertaken? Can we regularly turn off the damn phone, hide it in a drawer, toss it in the back seat? Do the same with the TV, the computer, the gaming device. Physical wellbeing leads to mental health, and by extension, emotional calm. Now that we feel a little more rested, a little more at peace, we can begin to notice, then reflect.
We are taught to continuously aim high, achieve, acquire. We strive to jump to the next rung, ignoring the view, denying the cost. How exhaustive, how unfeeling, how empty. We can move from an outcomes-based paradigm to one of engagement, to each moment, to each being. Discern what is superficial (most things) and what has true meaning (a select few things). Relish and draw upon the meaningful aspects. For instance, I might get a notification that I had exceeded budgeted income by millions of dollars. This would give me fleeting satisfaction lasting only a few seconds. Later while transitioning from meeting to meeting, I would find a couple, lost and infirm, trying to find their appointment location. Seeing the relief when I escorted them by the easiest route to their physician gave me happiness, a feeling that lasts to this day, many years later, when I recollect it.
Next, practice gratitude. Good fortune comes at different frequencies for each of us. Part of that regularity depends on our cognizance and appreciation of what comes our way. Studies show that being thankful elevates our emotions, our personality, our relationships, our career, and our health. So, take notice and give thanks for anything that brushes the realm of joy, even the littlest things.
Lastly, we can make a choice between judgement or empathy. The habit of judgement takes precious energy. We waste moments of our lives propping up artificial constructs predicated on misconception and/or blind emotion. Empathy for others gives us energy, and just makes us feel better. Caring about and helping not only aides them, it helps us to care for and help ourselves.
Once we have a better relationship with self, we can truly extend outward to others and our various environments. Seek out positive people and places. Ask for help, instead of toughing it out. Provide help as you can. This reciprocation of assistance, appreciation, kindness, ripples into a cascade of goodwill and genuine acts that become a legacy echoing through time. This gestalt, relating to others and the world has, time and again, allowed us to create the miraculous and solve pervasive issues. And so here we are above the fray – removed from the madness, clear eyed, calm, resolute, no longer a casualty, but a hero, one of many, ready to collaborate to address the exterior elements fueling our individual and collective chaos.
One last reminder: most of what we give negative attention either does not matter, will not happen, or we have no power to control it. As Andy Warhol proposed, “Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, So what. That's one of my favorite things to say, So what.” Step back, lighten up, breathe, reflect, let go, take a fresh approach to this life, and repeat…